As time goes on we all inevitably grow up. Slowly we started gaining responsibility, independence, and so on. But as we grow up this safety net we've grown up with all our lives starts to slowly fall away until you realize that it no longer is right there below you, waiting to catch you if you fall. Life becomes shrewder, unforgiving, and cold. All those reassuring lies we lived with as kids just drift away.
We tend to think that we're untouchable. That nothing could happen to us. With the whole world before us who could ever stand against us...but then reality comes in to bite us on the ass. We have our heart really broken for the first time, we lose a friend in a car crash, someone we know goes to jail, innocence is cruelly stolen from us.
I know a lot of kids grow up in this "real world," but I was raised in a Christian School in Utah. I lived in ignorance for the longest time. No one and nothing could touch me. I had a list of endless possibilities in front of me and I could do anything. I didn't need to worry about kidnap, premature death, rape, or any other nasty part of the outside world...my world was perfect and no one could ruin it.
That is until the cruel outside world started to creep in...my cousin died at age 15. Then the next year my friend was killed in a car crash at age 17 and the next year another friend took his own life at 17. Reality kept banging at my door. Threatening to come in. At eighteen I was told I was lucky to be able to see my best friend alive, she almost died in a roll over. Nothing was as perfect anymore...but I was still safe.
These other people had done something to desert their safety net but I still clung to mine. It was there to catch me. No matter how big the risk I would survive...but tonight I just realized that my safety net is gone. I live in Logan, UT; one of the top five safest cities in the United States. Yet even here that cruel world comes knocking and this time my safety net is gone.
I live up here on my own...I have friends and adults who care but I am ultimately responsible for my actions. And the world is not as safe as my little Christian bubble in suburban Utah. My friend was raped...no news story or anything to report the tragedy. Just plain facts, a police report that takes months to lead to any actions, and a rapist still in the city.
Her story is just one of many. But that doesn't make it any less important or any less scary. Even in safe little Logan, Ut we're still at risk...my safety net is gone and right now I have no idea what to think. No notification was sent out or warning was given. And he still gets to wander around till the police get things sorted out. My friend left town to live with her parents for fear of what may happen. She had to return to her safety net...but still she has to go back after something was taken from her...stolen from her...
I don't know what this post is about...the injustice of rape or the fear I have after someone so close to me was so deeply hurt...All of it is confusing. I guess this is the part of growing up that no one wants to tell you about.
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